It’s been a while since I’ve posted on ArtoftheAngels as only now am I starting to move forward again …the thing is… it wasn’t just time away I needed, I was dealing with a broken heart and a crisis in faith.
Yep… some experiences in life suck… and the illusion of separation from our true heart’s Beloved is perhaps the most painful.
You see, before I met my current romantic partner, I managed to manifest the ‘one before THE one’.
I did all the romantic manifestation in the previous post, and attracted a new love.
But much to my heart’s dismay back then, it turns out, this was not my romantic happy ending… it was just my beginning.
I can honestly say, it was the toughest ‘Love Bootcamp’ experience of my life, but that passing the initiation brought me to the next level of my evolution AND the love relationship I had been asking for and intending all along.
Yet, at the time, I was like – I don’t get it!! I asked to manifest true love and I am sent this? …a soul with whom I experienced a depth of love like no other ~ only to end up feeling I’d been abandoned and left in a state of shock and not just by him, but by the universe!
In brief… after several years, the man in question left and swiftly married another woman. When it happened I was utterly devastated as I loved him very much and a part of me truly believed we where destined to end up together.
It took me about a few years to make peace with what happened and my ego’s perceived ‘loss’, as saying goodbye to the man I loved and the future I believed we’d share together, felt more like a process of grief.
But finally, I started to ‘get’ the lesson I was being given…
…you see, all I experienced with this first man, threw up every single thing inside me that was not love.
It was a bit like a karmic colostomy to prepare me for all I had asked for… as before a real love relationship could enter my life – first off – my soul knew all the karmic crap I had been carrying had to be cleared out.
Some of that karmic crap was the fear of being abandoned and separated from true love (a common and ancient wound that many of us carry.)
And boy did it hurt at times. But like any detox process, it had to be done… because at the end of it, the reward was reaching the relationship I had been heading towards all along, and this time, there was non of the drama, karma, clinging, or fear left within me, that the first relationship had brought up so that all those old wounds could be seen, released, healed and forgiven.
The KEY this experience blessed me with was the true meaning and experience of divine love: which is absolute freedom and absolute forgiveness.
And this man, he helped me… by playing the part of a role that assisted me to grow wiser, stronger and clearer… and when it was time, he was gone.
But what I learned is that the love we shared, was never truly lost or taken…. for the love was not inside him, or from him ~ it was in me all along.
This resulted in an excruciating feeling of pain when the relationship (illusion) ended, as the projected Source of love, was felt to be lost!
The other thing that caused so much pain, was placing all my expectations onto the relationship, which meant, when it it didn’t go the way I thought it should go, I had a crisis in faith and was left with what you might term ‘a broken heart’. Projection and expectation are recipes for pain and disappointment.
Real love however, doesn’t have expectations or idolize anyone as the Source of itself.
That’s because divine love is unconditional, forgiving, unlimited and free.
Most of us need to learn the hard way to truly ‘get’ our lessons… but once we do, we don’t need to repeat them.
I’m now clear that the Source of my love is not to be seen as supplied from any other person, place, achievement or thing… it is supplied to me by my own personal relationship and connection to Love/Soul/Source/God. (Use whatever term you prefer). It is, who I am.
I see now, that others are simply a reflection of the love in me… sometimes, the fear too, and all reflections must be forgiven. For as I forgive them… I forgive myself.
And this is how we heal past hurts: forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the key that grants us true, deep level healing. It is the gift that returns us to a state of perfect peace, so that the experience of love can re~enter our hearts.
Time is definitely a healer and now, when I look back… this man (“twinflame runner / karmic soulmate teacher / sacred relationship dance partner”), taught me some of the greatest love, relationship & spiritual soul lessons I’ve ever experienced.
I couldn’t see it back then, but he helped to heal and prepare me for an even greater love…. the experience of divine Love …which, by it’s very nature, IS the practice of learning that unconditional love is forgiving.
He also helped me to realise that fear is an illusion ~ a projection of the mind/thought/belief that it is even possible to be separated from our real Source of Love.
I can honestly say, that if I hadn’t experienced what I had… I wouldn’t have been ready for the next love MANifestation to come into my life!
This story doesn’t end with the loss of my first love and all the drama, pain and hurt – that was just a single chapter of a book, and a door opener to the love experience I had been longing for all along: one based on integrity, honesty, fun, loving affection, truth, respect and openness …which is the love I wanted all along.
I share this with you, because I want you to know that new love is available for you too!
No matter how much you feel you have been hurt, you can always walk through the door of forgiveness …and when you do, you will see miracles occur, because forgiveness releases you to love again, and again and again.
There is no end to love when you are able to forgive.
Have Faith. Remember your Soul …and keep seeing the love through it All. x
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